Hope in Hopeless Sitiations

       I love telling stories about changed lives and encouraging individuals.  I love finishing a story and getting responses like, “that’s amazing” or, “WOW”.  In writing blogs I am always looking for those kinds of stories.  Partially because they are fun to write, but mostly because I think they would be something that people would enjoy reading.  I find myself starting blogs about someone who has completely changed their life, getting half way done, and then seeing them drunk on a park bench.  As much as I would love for every story to have a happy ending, the reality is they don’t.  Someone’s life cannot be wrapped up in an encouraging story and then sent off. 

      I have been super discouraged lately.  It seems like every time I turn around I see another friend who has fallen.  An individual who has been clean for months, whose life has turned for the better and they have fallen back to their old ways.  I feel a mixture of confusion and frustration and I often find myself crying out to God, asking, “Why?”  I love these people and it breaks my heart to see them broken. 

      I have a friend named Geraldo.  I met him the first day I was in Alajuelita.  My first night at the Men's center was spent awake with him going through gnarly withdrawals.  He is probably one of the nicest, most kind hearted individuals I have ever met in my life.  He is like my costarican grandpa.  He is also an alcoholic.  About six months ago he was run over by a car, as he explained it, “mucho drinking, mucho carro”.  The only information I could get was what I could gather from different people at the feeding center.  I thought he had died, until one day I saw him at the market.  It was incredible how even though he had just almost died he looked better than ever.  He hadn’t drank in months and wasn’t living on the streets anymore.  It brought me such great joy seeing him like that, I was so stoked.  A few weeks later however, he was back at the feeding center barely being able to keep his head up.  I can’t even explain to you how fast and how drastic the change is.  The effects of alcohol are devastating.  He pleaded to us for help.  We found a rehabilitation center in a town called Orotina which is an hour and a half bus ride from San Jose.  It is located on a mango farm far away from the temptations and bad influences of Alajuelita.  It seemed to be a perfect fit.  Rebecca and I visited him on occasion and every time was a huge encouragement for us.  He was there for two and a half months until problems with his leg (car accident) forced him to go back to San Jose for a surgery.  The surgery was scheduled for the 19^th of May and required him to be hospitalized for a few days.  Yesterday we planned to go visit him in the hospital.  We called the hospital and they told us that he wasn’t there.  We then proceeded to go to the park which is the main information hub for all happenings in Alajuelita.  My worst fears were confirmed when I saw him drunk, sitting on a park bench.  My heart sank.  How could this have happened?  Seeing him staggering in the rain was one of the saddest things I have ever seen in my life.

     It has been five days since I wrote what is above.  We have tried to take him to the hospital and intern him a few more times, but he has either been too drunk to function or hasn’t shown up.  Geraldo needs prayer.  There is nothing I or anybody else can do to change his life.  Even though situations like this seem hopeless, I know that the God we serve can do anything.  There is no such thing as a lost cause or a waste of time.  The reality is that Geraldo may never change; he may die in the streets.  At the same time he could change tomorrow.  God could use him to do great things and completely change Alajuelita, Costa Rica, the world.  Life as a Christian is anything but smooth and steady; it is an emotional rollercoaster of insane highs and heartbreaking lows.  When you truly open yourself up to love the least of these, to have true friendships, it is going to hurt.  It is easy to harden your heart to situations that seem to be void of any hope.  It is easy to guard yourself from feeling pain.  I pray that God continues to break my heart for what breaks His.  I pray that God breaks your heart.  Geraldo’s situation is not unique; I can guarantee that there is someone near you going through a very similar situation.  God calls us to bring hope to the hopeless.  VAMANOS!!!!          

Perspective

    I could title so many of my days down here in Costa Rica as, “God putting my life in perspective.” It seems like just about every day I am fed a heaping dose of perspective.   The problems you think you have in your life.  The problems that cause worry fail in comparison to the situation or the existence of some of the people down here.  When you see someone living in dirt floored shack all of a sudden your problem doesn’t seem so monumental.   

      There are so many people I have met down here who are huge inspirations to me and who are constantly putting life in perspective for me.  I would like to tell you about one of them right now.  Some time ago Luis was walking out of a bar and was mugged.  The assailants stole money and jewelry leaving Luis in the street bleeding out from three stab wounds.  One in the stomach, one barely missing the heart and the other in the back leaving him paralyzed from the waist down.  He barely survived the incident and has been in a wheelchair ever since.  I met him at one of the clinics we had when he came in for an ulcer that had formed on his thigh.  After that Rebecca and I have tried to visit him once a week to change his bandage.  He is an insane chess player and gives us chess lessons during every visit.  To tell you the truth changing his bandage has basically become an excuse to visit and spend time with him.  He has become a really close friend.                  

      Yesterday Rebecca and I took a trip to Cartago with him.   It is something we have all wanted to do for a long time.  I was so stoked to finally have the time to make it happen.  The whole trip was super fun.  We visited the Basilica de Nuestra Señora de los Angeles which is an insanely elaborate Catholic church.  The history behind what was Costa Ricas old Capital was super interesting.  Luis took us everywhere telling us about crazy conspiracies and showing us the best angles from which to take pictures.  It was so cool to see how stoked he was to show off his country to us.  We probably had the best guide in the country.   

      Throughout the day I was thoroughly amazed by the attitude of this guy.  As he spent the day weaving in and out of traffic and waiting half an hour for a bus with a ramp that worked I didn’t see him get frustrated once.  He never made an excuse for anything.  I couldn’t stop thinking about how easy it would be for him to make excuses or feel sorry for himself.   I mean, throughout the whole time I have known him I have never once heard him even mention the fact that he is in a wheel chair.  He is an inspiration to me in so many ways.  He is just an amazing human being.    

     It is easy for us to forget how blessed we are when our problems seem to overwhelm us.  We all constantly need to be gaining perspective in the lives we are living.  The Bible tells us, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)  I thank God for Luis and I pray that I can become more like him. 

To The Race Set Before Us,  Anton     

Comfortably Blinded

      “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to              offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” Romans 12:1

     Try something for me.  Put your hands on either side of your face so that your peripheral vision is completely taken away.  Now pick a location near you (ex. your refrigerator) and walk there.  The world around you seems to disappear and you can only take in what is directly in front of you.  You find that there is a reason why you don’t see people walking around with blinders on. Even though it is dangerous and just plane weird I feel like I have lived a good portion of my life with blinders on.  They weren’t physical blinders obstruction my vision, but another kind. They were the kind that allowed me to walk through a grocery store without making eye contact with a single person.  My blinders gave me an excuse to care more about the quality of the waves or the hole in my wetsuit than the guy waking up in the bushes.  It may sound lame but they served their purpose perfectly.  They made life EXTREMELY comfortable and to tell you the truth I liked my blinders.  Shoot, I loved them; they were one of my favorite accessories. 

      I cannot sit here and tell you that there was a miraculous moment when I realized that there was a world beyond what was directly in front of me.  If anything I was forced to look around by a God who constantly put me in uncomfortable situations.  Whether it be trying to communicate in a foreign language or befriending someone whom you would normally avoid, Costa Rica has provided a multitude of awkward, uncomfortable situations.  The weird part is that these kinds of situations have gone from being dreaded to strangely addicting.  My favorite thing we do here in Costa Rica is discovery trips.  We go out into the community without a destination with the purpose of seeing where God will show up.  It is definitely uncomfortable walking around aimlessly, but God shows up in huge ways every time you go out of your comfort zone.  It doesn’t just happen every once in a while, but every stinking time.  It is absolutely incredible.  There is nothing like it.

      The verse above basically tells us that God wants us to be living sacrifices for him.  He wants us to sacrifice our blinders in order that we may do his will.  God wants us to worship him by serving others.  I know for a fact that sacrificing your blinders will make life EXTREMELY uncomfortable at times.  I challenge/encourage you to get uncomfortable.  Look for situations that you would normally avoid like the plague and dive into them head first.  I can guarantee that God will show up.